It was a rough week. One co-teacher needs surgery, the other needs a refresher course in teaching. One student needs a hug and reassurance that his parents do love him, even if they don’t love each other. One parent needs to hear that everything is okay, that her child, despite cognitive delays, is showing progress in his final year of pre-k. One coordinator needs to meet a deadline. One teacher needs to call DCFS. One Coordinator needs her to not.
I sat in my therapist’s office and went through this entire week. It had literally only been a week since I saw her and everything had exploded. I had said for a long time, I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop. This eye of the storm couldn’t last forever and this week was the end. My therapist disagreed. No no no think of how far you’ve come. See how well you’re coping? Think about last year, would you be coping? Or would you be hiding in your bed?
She’s talking and praising and telling me how great I’ve been doing. And I’m not even listening, because in my head I’ve moved on. I’m thinking about next steps, I’m thinking about the 4 parent conferences I have tomorrow. I’m thinking about how to patch things up with my co-teacher because it might just be the two of us for a long time. I’m thinking about the best schools for my student, with a speech disorder, to apply to for Kindergarten, I’m making the list in my head, because over my dead body will a child from my class go to a school that doesn’t love him the way I do. I’m thinking about the boy who said, “I will take care of you.” I’m thinking about the girl who want to know where today’s shooting was, because her grandma lives near there.
So what do I need? I need to keep moving, keep coping, keep on keepin’ on, keep researching, keep advising, keep hugging, keep loving, keep conversing, keep reassuring, keep apologizing, and keep advocating. Because as long as they have needs, I need to be there.